Tag: bathing suit

Saggy Baggy Summer

As women who’ve had babies, we’ve all had our issues with what pregnancy does to our bodies. Some of us will be forever cursed with stretch marks, varicose veins, and hemorrhoids (ahem) that won’t go away. I recently had a different discovery. I was drying off after a shower and bent over in my birthday suit, and caught a glimpse of my stomach. It startled me to realize that I may never look the same again. Literally, everything, (and I mean everything) on my body has shifted in transit.

I realized my stomach now looked like the main character in a favorite childhood book. You guessed it…I was now The Saggy Baggy Elephant. You see, our poor skin can only take so much before it screams, no way, huh uh! I’ve had it! There is no possible way it’s going back in place.

I am fascinated by the fact that I can pull the excess skin away from my body. I almost can’t help myself from playing with all the folds of skin. As I’m shopping for bathing suits for our upcoming beach trip, I now face the realization that saggy baggy is here to stay.

I decided to pull the old book out and see how accurate the summation of my new body is. As I perused the pages, I found another photo that reminded me of a very pregnant self. If I had done a pregnant self portrait soaking in the bath, this would be it. I began to wonder if the author of The Saggy Baggy Elephant had been a women.

This will go down as my saggy baggy summer!

Sticky Fingers

So, I was feeling brave. I was going to attempt to take both babies shopping. It’s quite exhausting hauling two 24 pounds babies in and out of the car. Yes, they weigh the same. Even more frustrating is trying to maneuver a double stroller around the racks. It’s not always easy fitting through the doors either.

Our shopping trip started off at Target. That place will be my financial down fall. We successfully managed to do returns, which I usually try to do without the two babies in tow. We did great and even managed to grab a couple goodies. You see what I’m saying, cha ching! We made it out unscathed.

I’m feeling pretty good, feeling even more brave. Maybe we could head to the mall. So, more returns for Children’s Place. We had a close call at Children’s Place with a near melt down from both Bigs and Lil. The only way to solve this is trying to look at clothes with one hand and continuously push and pull the stroller in place with the other. Yes, we are quite an amusing site. Since they seemingly calmed down, I had an obvious lapse in judgement and decided to push my luck.

Maybe, just maybe, I could run in and out of Victoria’s Secret. I really need a new bathing suit. I’ve not had a nice suit in a couple years being pregnant. If I had a hot suit then maybe I would feel like the old me again. You know, instead of the Mom who never gets out of her work out clothes, and that’s not because I’m working out! The girls also need extra support these days with breastfeeding, and I thought Victoria’s Secret would be the best choice for that situation. I quickly realized there weren’t many options at Victoria’s Secret. I really don’t need the 2 inches of padding…I would then look like Dolly Parton. Ok, now we have officially hit our limit. Lil has informed me that she is no longer falling for the pushing and pulling the stroller in place.

On our way to the mall exit, I spot a very colorful Maxi dress in the front window of a store. Well, I couldn’t pass that up could I. Obviously, I was still in my dumb fog and thought I could run in, grab it, pay, and then get the hell out of dodge.

I speedily wheeled my Bjorn through the entrance when I hear a beep, beep, beep. What the …? I look around and nope, only me. I looked at the store associate and said, well I guess that was me. With a puzzled and fascinated look she was glancing back and forth between me and Bigs. She then said, well he’s got something in his hands. What! I head around to the front of the stroller, and sure enough Bigs, now a.k.a sticky fingers was holding something teal. What in the world is that!?! Yes, you guessed it, Bigs had snagged a teal bathing suit bottom from Victoria’s Secret. Guess he thought I would look good in teal. Funnily enough, No alarm went off upon exit of the Victoria’s Secret store.

I hurriedly ran my crying babies, double stroller booty to the opposite end of the mall to return the stolen merchandise. I repeatedly apologized to the high school age associate for my son nabbing a teal bikini bottom… and chewing off the tag.

Bigs will now be known as Sticky Fingers and will not be going in to VS with me ever again.